6th May 2016 – Meditation by element – Voxin

I have decided to do element meditation after we did some weird energy transfers and a new moon ritual which I have no intention to write at this time. Quite some time passed since I was doing it so I decided to go for it. I will not discuss village setup, as I did it so many times.

Tala laid cards in front and what popped up was a yellow square – earth element. She created a portal and I passed through.


I found myself in something that looked like Tuscany, in the middle of the huge wheat field. Wheat was new, green and heavy. I saw a villa upside small hill in the distance. I went there, on the way passing through a vineyard where people dressed in medieval clothes were working. Villa had red high walls with small square window openings. Gate was from the right side, so I went around.
When I came around, there was no gate. Villa was actually a partially ruined watchtower, large and round in shape. Gate was missing. It had no roof. Just one upper floor, at the opposite side to which led stone stairs that was attached to the left side of a wall.
Inside was empty. Grass took over the ground. At the opposite side, below that wooden upper floor, was a table with a goblet. I decided to go upstairs. I saw a chest, table which contained one lit candle that spread yellowish light on the wall, and at the other side, a large gray tree that grew from the level below through the floor. There was a fox. Staring at me. I stared back. Fox was there for a few moments and then slipped somewhere out of my sight. I have seen nothing more of interest and I descended and approached a table with goblet. Goblet was of gold, with a few gemstones. It contained wine. It smelled like wine, but I decided not to drink it. I just left it back on the table and head to the exit.

When I was halfway, I saw the fox above on the left near exit. Then I shape shifted to a Lynx just standing down at the exit. My vision turned to infra-red kind – all shades of green. I jumped towards the fox and stared growling on it. Fox was frightened, made a slight curve with body and lowered a bit but it stood it’s ground. I came back to myself seeing lynx threatening the fox, growling on it, then I went back to Lynx and back to myself few more times in some seconds. Lynx wasn’t trying to hurt the fox. Then I decided that it doesn’t interest me anymore and I found myself back in wheat field, long way from that tower. Portal was near so I passed through to find myself back to the village.

Drawing down the moon – 22nd April – Tala

The evening was chill and very relaxing from start.

After helping our fifth member, who was not present last week, to get in touch with his familiar, we did our full moon rituals and of course drawing down the moon.

Sometimes (well often) I just get overwhelmed by all the energy and the goddess presence, and I end up writing/channeling random stuff. This one was rather interesting, since I’ve heard 2 voices, but thinking that one of them was mine.


Goddess: Out of their way you should never go,
for trembling (scared) arms the cure still exists.
As it is not the nightly herbs or bitter pills that help,
but it’s the words you speak that create and extinct.

2nd voice: Over the fire I stand
and watch down on questions of yes or no,
to end or start it over,
in another body and another life.
Too long have I waited
to push the beasts away,
too long they’ve stepped on my lips,
rendering them silent,
too long I’ve been closed in
unable to scream.
A scream I let out, a scream
that shakes the Earth,
and breaks the boulders and bones
of legs that thread.

Goddess: From life thy stand up
and life you become,
to be on all the places
and to be on none,
to love all the souls that are yours
and to lose none.
As mother has spoken so will it be,
as words have created so will she leave(let be).

I don’t know the meaning of the second part, even though I could connect it to my life, but same to lives of many other people I know have suffered a lot.
Unlike on other nights, I felt also a rush of anger while writing. It was not mine, it came from outside. Wild anger over injustice and oppressed anger to that.

The people in the circle were already chatting about what they’ve experienced while I was still writing, and I know it was nobody of them. All in all, a very interesting experience, that I’ll have to study through a little more.

Blessed be!

19th April 2016 – Conjuration of familiar

Eurasian Lynx

Tonight, among other things, we conjured a familiar. I saw mine helping me from time to time, but I never bothered to call it. This time I decided that we should conjure it in proper Celtic ancient way, to stay. I was leading the conjuration chant, other three were repeating after me. No familiar stayed hidden. Each one of us were visited by their own. Finally, I got a good look of mine. It’s Eurasian Lynx. I knew the shape before, just it was transparent green all the time until now. Once, during meditation, I even shapeshifted into it.

It was a good night. We all got our summons answered.

11 April – Guided visualization – Tala

We’ve met with the intention to do a guided meditation with the clear goal to find out more about ourselves.

I’ve started the narration like last time, yet every time symbols used and the way the intro is made depends on the people in the group. Leading the meditation makes one slightly less focused sometimes. This night, the outcome was very interesting for me as well.

When everyone leaves the circle, I’m still there. I can see them all leave. For some reason I chose to make another circle, just to choose my way in peace. Walking around, I’ve turned into the same nymph, that I turned into while exploring the fire element, almost 6 months ago.

This was surprising. I stood tall, having way different movements made me feel so light and careless. Walking didn’t feel the same way for me and I also enjoyed a way more nimble but also stronger body. Very strong actually, and still lean and effortlessly light.
I turned my head and picked the path that went south-east. Right where the tall old marble pillars ended, started a hill slope, overgrown in wild flowers, and I could see a forest on the bottom of the hill.

Suddenly, I felt like running, and from sprinting I even made a few leaps like a cheetah would do them, using my hands. That confused me a bit, since I clearly didn’t have paws but it felt so natural, that I didn’t think about it further. After few more long leaps on only my legs, I spread my arms and started flying. I had no wings, I flew just from the speed I reached and I reminded myself that flying with wings is for the real world, but there, I could do anything I wanted, and it didn’t need to make sense.

Under me, there was a seemingly endless forest, and I was looking for something interesting to explore. At that moment an old round roof appeared through the canopy and I instantly landed right on it.
At this point my focus must have been broken a little, since images of secluded huts that I knew and saw somewhere were trying to pop up in my mind. I calmed myself and made myself look what is REALLY there. Then the distracting images disappeared.

A round stone house. The roof was made of black stone slate and it was perfectly round with a chimney in the center. It was a very old house, front half was made of stone, back half was covered in soil all the way to the roof, like old viking houses, and the soil was long overgrown in grass and moos. The scent of forest soil and stone warmed by the sun was very real.
I entered the house and found myself in front of a half-circle shelf, which was made of massive wood, but the signs of time were all over it.

I’ve rummaged through the bottles and jars, and found one jar, filled with blueish salve that I instantly knew what to use for. Before opening the circle I burned my finger a little, on a candle and a blister already started to form, and it was painful as well. I’ve dipped my finger in the salve and slowly spread it over the burned area and the pain started diminishing, to fully disappear by the end of the meditation, same like the blister.

Near the jar was a flask, with a long thin neck, closed with a plug and sealed with bee wax. It was mine, I knew it and I took it. There was old leather bag hanging from the side of the shelf, I took it and stored the jar inside and hung the flask from the leather belt, obviously made for it, on the side of the bag.

Then I found a book. Looking through it, I could see writings and drawings but also some dry herbs, stuck to some pages. That was my book as well. The nice words, written with black ink simply burned themselves into my mind, and I knew that I should take it with me.
Outside, the dusk already started and I looked for a light source. As a human I’d look for fire. Yet as a nymph, rays of sun, still reaching the ground through the trees, were enough.

I sat down and started reading. As I progressed, I’ve started catching different scents and sounds around me. And I’ve realized that there is a tiny thin creek moving through the grass near me, on the forest clearing, with a small round pond, maybe rather deep puddle. I’ve packed the book and went on my knees and elbows down, so I can look at my face.

Big black eyes, without the white around, but not animal eyes. Cute face, with half wild features, nice small mouth, mouth angles pointing down, but otherwise proportional and familiar.

I’ve seen myself blink a few times in the water and was captured by the face that was looking back at me. Then I decided to get up and look around a little. Looking toward one edge of the clearing, toward the forest, I’ve spotted some light, like fire light, but behind something, rather someone.

There I’ve seen me, real me, sitting toward the forest, with a fire in front of me, and with my back toward the nymph me. I approached the familiar body and decided to have a better look at it. She was sitting near a small fire, deeply focused on something while meditating. And nymph me came closer, sat behind the real me and embraced me around the arms and upper body, leaning the head with fire dreads on my back and neck.

Then I heard myself saying: I’m choosing you.

And I shifted from the nymph, back to my real body and the circle in the room, where everyone was sitting.

It was surprising, that such a strong healthy creature would choose a body that I’m not too happy with and that needs some improvement in health. On the other hand, it made it more clear for me, that I’ve consciously chosen the totally imperfect body and I could feel all the love that the nymph had for it, before shifting back into it.

It made me think about the ways we take our bodies for granted.

I’m thankful to the fire nymph for guidance and the strong love she showed me.


11th April 2016, group meditation – by Zela

The Souls Of Millions Of Lightyears Away

Obično u grupnim meditacijama unutar kovena ne vidim ništa. Dobra sam da sama ili sa dvoje, troje random ljudi vidim šta hoćeš, ali kada dođe trenutak da nešto ”moram” sad i odmah, eto drugarice blokade.

Ovog puta je bilo drugačije.

Kada je Tala otvorila krug i rekla nam da uzmemo baklju i uputimo se ka putu koji nas zove, instinktivno sam se okrenula ka severu iako sam minut pre bila uverena da je jug moj put za večeras.

Moja staza se uvijala odmah iza severnog stuba stapajući se sa nečim što je podsećalo na srednjovekovni krajolik pred sam zalazak sunca. Stisla sam baklju i zakoračila napred. Ono što je delovalo kao kaldrma iz daljine sada je više podsećalo na stazu po kojoj bi rado hodala Doroti iz Oza. Staza je očito vodila ka manjem gradu ugneždenom između dva brda. Kada sam prišla jedan deo mene je jako voleo da siđe stazom pored gradskih zidina do dela koji je podsećao na mesto na kom je mesec dana pre već bio Voxin. Međutim, ono što je mene maltene dozivalo bila je kula. Visoka, u sred samog grada. Stoga sam ušla u grad, prišla vratnicama kule, otvorila ih (nisu bila teška, to je čudno, zar ne) i odmah krenula da se uspinjem stepeništem koje naizgled ide do u beskraj. Sve vreme mi se ispred očiju smenjuje nečija duga zlatna kosa sa repom.. Nečeg. (Manje crtanih filmova za mene). Dolazim do odaje koju znam da tražim večeras. U njoj je već neko. Ili neki. Ne vidim ih dobro (kao kad zaboravim naočare), ali se ni ne bavim time. Jedino što svetli usred odaje je kolevka. Već znam šta ću naći u njoj. Ili barem mislim da znam. Od tog momenta kao da sam pripojena na Izvor čiste ljubavi. To traje sekund, možda dve, i nestaje. Prilazim, uzimam bebu. Deluje poznato. Devojčica je. I spava. Okrećem se od odaje i brzo silazim sa samo jednom mišlju u glavi – moram da izađem odavde i ne smem da padnem. Stepenice deluju kao da su od meda. Imam utisak da ću se srušiti svakog trena, ali ipak nastavljam. Na izlazu iz grada ne srećem nikog (što je čudno, veče je, idealno vreme za šetnju). Nešto me vuče da uđem u odaju pored izlazne kapije. Tamo se susrećem sa mladićem i starcem. Prvi me samo gleda, drugi je nagnut nad nekim spisima. Imam utisak kao da mene čekaju. Ali ništa ne govore. Okrećem se oko sebe. Levo od mene je metalna konstrukcija na kojoj će jednog dana biti haljina. Ne znam otkud mi to. Na stolu pored starca leži srebrni lanac sa priveskom. Ali oblik ne raspoznajem.

Odlučujem da je bilo dosta zabave za mene i odlazim sa detetom pravo nazad, do kruga, Ona sve vreme spava, gotovo da je nečujna. U krugu vidim ostale (okej, ovo je onaj morbidni deo na koji se ili navikneš ili ne). Na tren imam utisak da im vidim misli, ali brzo se otkačinjem od toga i prilazim svom mestu. Sedam. Beba se integriše sa mnom baš u onom momentu kad se ”vraćam u realnost”.

Na zidu naspram mene titra samo jedna reč. Zela. Ona koja zna put.


11th April 2016, group meditation – by Voxin

When we were ready in meditative state, just as the last time, in Ostara post , Tala created circle with pillars and we were to find a path where would we go. At North side, I’ve seen the same town I was before and I have decided not to go there this time. I saw two more paths. One led to a forest, common forest. Other one to the similar forest, but trees were glowing like a deep water luminescent jelly fish. I took that one and soon arrived to a small round lake.the_secret_lake_by_chris_karbach-d6bt52c_640

Lake was dark, but glowing beautiful likeit was made of a million stars and crystals. Those dots were emitting and reflecting light and the trees around it were glowing too in its dim bluish light reflections. Cracking in nearby tree branches revealed Artemis, smiling back at me and disappearing in the dark. Further along, Hecate was there, in her Mother appearance with her black dog and her wooden staff with silver crescent moon at the top, facing upwards. Then, on the opposite side of me, there were a blonde maiden, in her seventeens, dressed in white. She was calling to me silently and I slowly came around, passing beside Hecate who let me pass with no effort.

When I arrived near blonde maiden, she caressed my hair and I set down. She turned into a golden glowing nymph and were putting me to sleep by caressing my hair. I have been told that I really stated snoring. Next I remember, Hecate was above me, waking me and taking my hand and leading me away. Nymph was smiling and slowly disappeared in the dark. I thanked Hecate and was slowly walked back. Halfway there I met my beloved and we came back to the circle together. Then I slowly came out of meditation and back to the attic.

Ostara, 19th March 2016 – by Voxin

Four of us were sitting around the altar, just after we have finished Ostara ritual and gave our thanks to the gods, sun, moon and earth.
Tala wanted somewhat deeper meditation with a goal for each of us to try to foresee year ahead. When we were ready in meditative state everyone already on other plane, she created a circle with four glowing stone pillars. One in each of the major directions, then four more, tiny ones between them. We were to choose our path out of multiple surrounding that circle.

This time, I had the most simple and most vivid vision in many months. Like I was watching a full HD movie. In that vision, I saw only one path downwards to the nearby medieval town, surrounded by a stone wall. As I as approaching, I passed over a bridge that was high over a stream where few creepy zombie-like creatures were drowning and in their last strengths were trying to get out. I felt sorry for them. Just before the (open) gate, path led me down to the left to the small round one-room building that was made out of the stone and attached to the town wall. There were a door and a lit torch beside it.

I have entered the room, which was entirely of gold, walls covered with Egyptian hieroglyphs and drawings. There were Seth, Anubis, Osiris, Isis and Apis. I wasn’t afraid at all, in fact, I had a feeling of a happiness, as I have met my brethren. I had a feeling of richness and as that room was mine, given by them. Anubis put his hand on my shoulder. I smiled. Then I tried to go out but Osiris held me there for a moment, for someone else that was passing outside cannot see from where I am exiting. I thanked and went out.

Just before I climbed up that path to the town gate, I met Cerridwen. She was pointing with her finger to my belt, where a flask with a potion, that she gave me months ago in other meditation, was hanging. I took a sip and I grew tall. So tall that I was hundreds feet tall. Town below my feet was small. I saw many other towns glowing in the night. There was a terminator line, dividing day on the right side and night on the right. On day side, I saw many spots in the forest, creeks and clearings bathing in a morning sunlight, butterflies, rabbits, bucks and life in general. It was very beautiful. On the left hand side, I saw clearings and surrounding forests, moonlight, calmness, insects buzzing in the night. Also very calming view. I was very happy.

Potion effect wore off and I came back to my original size. I decided to go back to that circle that Tala created. As I set to wait for others, day dawned slowly and I was enjoying morning colours. I was looking around and behind my back, I saw a village center, that village where we usually do our thingies. I passed there and there was Druantia in her green dress, hugged me and tapped on the shoulder. I understood that as “well done”. She didn’t speak, she smiled and left. I went to my hut, took a bath. Above fireplace I saw Thurisaz rune, that changed slowly into Mannaz rune. Then I slowly went back to the village center and passed through portal that led me back to the circle. Then others arrived and we gone back to the room out of meditation.

Snow Moon, 22nd – Tala

The atmosphere between the five people that gathered was very good this night.

After we opened the circle, we took a while to reflect on what we want to achieve and to calm down. Then took a while to concentrate and get to the village, where we meet.

That village is on another plane. It’s safer and nicer to do rituals in a place, where you set the rules. For that reason, village is perfectly safe and distractions from around don’t get to us. It’s like having a circle within a circle, except that this “circle” is expandable and using methods similar to astral projection or trance induction, we can travel where ever and do whatever we have to do.
Like this, setting and solving the goals is easier. Regular methods require that one makes an attractive image, because images are stronger than words or wishes. Yet, stronger than images are fully lived moments, where we are already in our desired situations, places, goals.
Usually the walk to the village requires some leading, yet meanwhile everyone just has their own way to arrive there.

Since the group has grown together even the newer members are able to fully follow a person that is describing where he/she is and to see the places they see, even to smallest details.

We started the full moon rite and after that drawing down the moon, in our original circle. Since I was leading the rite, I felt all the energy shifting way stronger than usually. I was also on a medical fast for a couple of days, which made my body very harmonic and resonating with even the smallest tingles.

The moment the Goddess Moon stepped down among us was enthralling. Having our arms up, every single one of us could feel the energy rise, even light that built up around us, and the fingers started vibrating and tingling. And in the next moment it took over all of us.
Using the strength of a clean body, I turned into an amplifier. The light was pouring into me and I had too much of it, so I left a pillar of light over each person in the room. I could clearly see and feel each one of them, as their stories happened, and all their interactions with the Goddess, as if I was watching 4 screens at the same time.

In the next few moments, as Voxin was describing his adventure and asked me to lead him to the water, I was simoultanously writing a chant that just came into my mind.
And right after that I was sitting still, following still what everyone is experiencing and at the same time I was there in me, and all over my skin was a layer of light 4-6cm, it formed sort of a hull around me.
Under that hull, I felt VERY relaxed and almost like floating. I felt like my facial bones are being moved and molded, and that went on so long that I thought, if I look in a mirror now, I’ll see a different face, and not my own.
That was first time that I felt something that clear and it was very intriguing.

Next thing, the shell of light, that was the Goddess in and around all of us, moved the attention to each person in the room. She started plucking dark spots off everyone, without sorry or without being careful. She just pulled out and picked all that she didn’t like.
I’ve let her do that, since I was able to see those spots in everyone. Some were real physical illness residue, some were emotional boulders on the shoulders of people. Voxin even told me a couple of times that I can let him go and that he’s ok. And at some point he didn’t feel right when she went for his dark spots, but has decided to not interfere and let her do what she did.

When that was over and everyone was freshly plucked and happily clean, she, or rather her arms of light, returned to my body and I felt intoxicated by that relaxing warm light for quite a while, even days after.
After all was done, I was able to feel where every person in the house is, even in other apartments, which was very strange and interesting at the same time.

For me, it was a great gift, to be able to share the light with everyone in the room (specially since during Drawing down the Moon the women feel way more and our male members don’t get to feel all of it). And as always I crave for any line on that paper, when the channeling begins and fully formed poems or chants take over my mind. It’s a totally different level of trust and calmness.

The group said goodbye way closer than we were just a few hours earlier.

Snow moon, 22nd

Yesterday’s full moon ritual was a strange one, for me at least. Five of us gathered at Tala’s attic and after standard circle opening and some initial relaxing meditation we began. I forgot my reading glasses at home, but I think Full moon is to be led by women, so Tala took over. Women usually have more intense manifestations in Goddesses invocations.

During the rites, my usual thing is to see Goddess appear in front of me, bathing me in the light. This time, however, she circled around me like ghost, in all of her light and beauty, gently smiling at me. After a few circles she entered me and I felt chill and got goosebumps all over my skin. Light irradiated from her, in me, all over the attic. In that time, Tala was finishing Drawing down the Moon part, and I saw moon diving into the water on the horizon. I felt like I need to go to the water.

When we finished, I asked Tala to bring me down to the water. Not usual element meditation where one of the element shapes pops-up, but directly, to the water. She led me to the lake over the forest paths uphill outside our ‘village’. When I came to the lake, I walked slowly in and dived deep down. I saw bluish glow and approached. There was a stone table with two pillars and a drawer below it. There was a mirror on the table that irradiated light. I opened a drawer and found a stone egg. Egg was too heavy and I could not swim up with it. Behind, I saw a wraith. My last water meditation didn’t go quite nice being surrounded by wraiths, so I was weary, but this one was at distance. Just as she was there to make sure I do what was to be done. I looked at the egg, saw carved lines, but only in the mirror I could read them. It was written “Marcus”. Actually, kind a Roman way: “MARCVS”.

Egg crumbled to the pebbles and I started swimming up the surface. Went out, but could not find the path down for some moments. I looked around and found a small strawberry. As I approached to pick it up, I saw path and started going down, but as everything was wet, I slipped, fell to my back and had a bumpy slide down the hill. I ended up back in the village and from there, I came back.

Still need to reflect on what I saw and discover the meaning. I am sure it will come in time.

Sand of Alexandria

Son of Jupiter, kicked out of Bacchus’ inn,
Journey to the Orion and back,
To the hands of Hator, daughter of Ra,
Fury of the Pantheon

Blood and pain, love and gain,
Like pair of stars entangled in the dance of death,
Sword and chain, mortals slain,
Lustful dance to the arms of Seth.

Terrifying was revenge of Mars,
Lightning strikes to the people and land,
They feared not journey to the stars,
Sword, snake and Alexandrian blood-soaked sand.